
Posted by Michelle Butler Jan 22 2012, 10:00 pm in bad habits, eating healthy, exercise, fitness, food diary, Michelle Butler, Michelle Mondays, motivation
I can’t seem to find my motivation. I know what I should be doing to pursue my health and fitness goals, but I just can’t seem to do them. To make things worse, baked goods (half the time baked by me!) and other not-wise-food choices keep calling my name, and I answer their cry. I still feel like I’m in a good place in my life and very happy. Yes, there are things that can stress me out or bring me down, but overall I’m doing really well, and I know that. I just can’t seem to stop eating too much or work out consistently.
What do you when you just can’t find the motivation to do what you need to do? I can name so many things that should motivate me. The (increasing) number on the scale. Almost no clothes that fit me comfortably or flatteringly anymore. The realization that my weight gain in the last 6 months or so have made me feel bad physically and mentally.
I thought January 1 would be when I would turn my backsliding around. I wrote down what I ate, as Tawny mentioned was so helpful Thursday, the beginning of this month but I got very lax about that after a bad weigh in or two. I’ve gone to the gym a couple of times, but I know I need to do that consistently so that I can get and enjoy the full benefits of exercise. I’ve attended every Tuesday night Weight Watchers meeting this month, but they’re doing very little for me. I even started playing Words with Friends at my last one. Yes, the newish group leader is not as good as my beloved former leader Melvin, but that’s no excuse for rudeness. I’m still blogging here, but I’m feeling like a fake right now.
I have found my motivation for brief moments this month, but it doesn’t last. I did have a little bit of a new year’s bump. When I was at the gym, I tried to find out more about a new year’s challenge, but there was no trainer there to answer my questions. I haven’t tried to find one to talk to since the initial idea. The fabulous boyfriend sent me a link to an inspiring video on YouTube from a guy who had lost 120 pounds in one year, went from very obese to ironman and claims running saved him. It was a very moving and motivating piece that made me cry. It didn’t get me to the gym though this weekend. It was cold, icy and dark. I read one-and-a-half inspirational novels this weekend, and that reminded me of so many important lessons I’ve learned the last few years.
I know Sally says you just have to keep on keepin’ on. It’s all about perseverance. Endurance. Not quitting. But, I don’t even feel like I’m treading water right now. I’m sinking an inch or so each week as I get fatter and fatter.
Yes, this may be getting a bit melodramatic, and hormones may be at work, but I just can’t find my motivation. What do I need to do? Do I need to just do what I need to do and the motivation will come while I’m doing the work? I know I’ve written many pieces about my struggles here. Do I need to reread them? Do I need to reread some of my triumphant pieces?
The beloved Melvin, Weight Watchers group leader extraordinaire who unfortunately stopped doing that last spring and mentioned above, would always challenge you to name the one thing you are going to do to succeed in your upcoming week when you were struggling. The last time he challenged me, I said I would track, aka keep a food diary, honestly and work out for stress reduction. I know I need to get back there, but it seems a bit daunting right now. Will doing that for a week help me find my motivation again?
Where do you find your motivation? What do you do when you can’t find it anywhere?
Hugs Michelle – even though you’re in a happy place (which I’m so pleased about), it’s very frustrating to lack motivation.
That’s me all over! The kind of thing I find helps is to set a challenge along with a friend – for me it’s been to do a 5k in July or to do a month of yoga or to try a certain diet (I use the word diet loosely). Setting a timed challenge gives a goal that is easy to follow and meet. Having a friend do it with you, means you can egg each other on and take turns being the supportive one when one of you wants to wimp out!
I also find one at a time is best. Don’t know if that helps!
Thanks, Anna! It helped just to write this.
I have to think about your challenge suggestion because it sounds like it could help me right now. I’ve thought about a healthy writer challenge to get everyone going, but I may need to do one with someone I can see face-to-face.
Big hugs coming your way, Michelle.
It’s hard to find that lost motivation. It’s the snowball effect that can work both to your advantage and disadvantage. When I’ve been working out regularly, I’m motivated to *keep* working out regularly because I have something to lose if I stop. But once I’ve stopped…well, then, why not stay stopped? Why go through the pain and halting steps of trying to start up again?
I don’t have any magic advice (don’t we all wish that magic advice existed?). I like Anna’s suggestion of a timed challenge (like a 5K or some such goal with a definite date and a requirement that you pay an entry fee, as a bit of extra motivation).
Another option that has worked well for me is the “small steps” approach. I’m trying that approach right now for my writing: I’ve set myself the goal of sitting down four times a week to write for 10 minutes. That’s very little writing time, but the point is to make the sitting down to write a daily habit.
For exercising, when I’ve stopped running for a while, I set myself a ridiculously small *daily* goal (like walking 5 minutes) that gets increased by 10% every day. The point is to begin with such a small goal that you can’t come up with an excuse NOT to do it (snowing outside? Fine, walk up and down the hallways of your condo for 5 minutes. The next day, walk up and down the hallways for 5 minutes and 30 seconds–a 10% increase). By the time you start putting in some serious exercise time, it’s become a daily habit. And it’s establishing the good habit that is the whole point.
One of your strengths, Michelle, has always been your ability to engage in self-reflection. Over the years you’ve faced the motivation challenge in a variety of ways. Can you figure out what’s stalling you out this time, so that you can find the right motivational strategy for getting back on track?
Great point, Elise – I’m a big believer in the small steps approach. Love your idea of the ‘ridiculously small’ goal that you gradually increase!
Thanks, Elise! I do need to figure out what is stalling me out. Is it just I know how much work it can be (when it’s hard) and I’m now that much further away from that healthy weight range? I have to think about that.
I like your challenge and little steps suggestion too. I need to start working on that this week.
And, that’s great about your writing challenge!!!
I didn’t make the goal last week (I wrote three times instead of four), but I’m on track for it this week. One week at a time, small steps. Someday I’m going to learn how to balance my day job and my writing life.
I’ve attended or read about a few work/life balance talks at work in the past couple of months. A new argument is that there is no such thing as balance – there are choices. It makes sense.
Michelle, I know I’m late in posting this. My heart goes out to you! After all you’ve achieved you are watching it slip away, little by little.
Here’s an armchair analysis for you to consider.
You are in a happy place. You have the love of a wonderful man. But is this a way of sabotaging that? Are you unconsciously thinking you don’t deserve such happiness, because you really are a “fat girl” and fat girls are weak of character and unlikeable and all those other stereotypes we slap on ourselves?
I think you are giving in to that “fat girl” mentality. You are thinking you are weak, when, really, you’ve proved you can be strong. You just have to decide to be strong again.
I don’t want you to lose that image of yourself as strong and powerful and successful…and worthy of love.
Wow. I hadn’t thought of this angle at all. You’ve given me a lot to think about. Thanks.
Whew. I’m glad you weren’t offended!!! But then, I knew you were STRONG and would take it the right way.
Diane, I think I need a strong wake-up call right now – though it may have taken me a few hours to appreciate it.
The idea that I’m giving in to the fat girl mentality is a scary one – and part, if not all, of that may be true. I don’t feel as strong and powerful and successful (and I’ll add attractive) as I did just 6 or so months ago. I do want that again. I think that this post and comments may just have given me the kick in the butt I needed. The next few weeks – and my actions – will tell!
You can do it, Michelle!
It is harder to get back on the wagon after you fall off, but you need to! If you can make yourself stick to your points and at least earn 2 exercise points a day, you will get back in the habit! If you can do it for one week, just one week, it will help re-establish the habit.
No more baking goodies! Just healthy stuff.
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