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The Magic Is the Journey
 Posted by Michelle Butler May 15 2011, 10:24 pm in eating healthy, inspiration, Michelle Butler, Michelle Mondays, motivation, weight loss When you are a goal-oriented person, it can be too easy to become so focused on what you want to achieve that you lose sight of the pleasures along the way. It can be too easy to say to yourself I will be happy when I sell that book, I lose 50 pounds, I find a significant other, I get married, I have a (or another) baby, I get a new job, I get a promotion, I buy that cute house, I drive the perfect car, I pay off all my debt, I make the NYT list. Sometimes the world has to remind you that the magic is in the journey. It can be too easy to think of happiness as a destination. The last month, I have had several reminders that life is a journey, and I need to find my joy along that journey. Three Tuesdays ago, our beloved Weight Watchers (WW) group leader Melvin held his last meeting. I had been dreading it and trying to talk myself into how this change could be an opportunity, but I was still surprised by how emotional it got at times. There were tears, and some were in my eyes. Melvin obviously had put a lot of thought into how this last meeting should go and could be helpful for everyone in that room. He made every one of the regulars state how they planned to succeed over the next month. He stressed how his time with Weight Watchers was a journey, and it would never end. He had been with WW for about 10 years and had continued his journey through several life transitions including dropping out and rejoining WW, becoming a group leader, going to grad school, changing jobs, adopting a child, getting married. Through it all, he stuck with his healthy eating and weight efforts. Yes, he would not be a group leader on this next segment of his journey, but he would still be on the journey with us. The next time we saw him, he very well may be sitting in a meeting. His “Weight Watchers” journey would last the rest of his life. And my Weight Watchers journey has continued without Melvin. I’ve now attended two Tuesday meetings with the new leader. The second was better than the first. I know that my food and weight issues will have its ups and downs and that my healthy eating and living journey will last the rest of my life too. It may not always be easy, but it also won’t always be difficult. I just have to keep at it and find ways to enjoy the journey. The idea of the journey resonates in all parts of my life not just the food and weight stuff. I attended the annual WRW Retreat a couple of weekends ago. The event ended with a marvelous “the last word” speech by bestselling author Cathy Maxwell, who reminded us that the magic is in the journey. She shared 5 Axioms or “Maxioms” about the writer’s life, but most of all she assured us that we had talent. Her speech reminded me of the other talented authors who have stressed the joys to be found in the journey and the writing as opposed to certain publishing milestones. This “zen-like” attitude would help you get through the rough times and would keep you from going too crazy with conceit and ego in the good times. I have heard similar messages at work conferences. There is so much truth to this message. If I can remember the importance of the journey as opposed to that of any specific milestone or setback, it can help me react in a more positive, healthy way to any given situation. I have already had the chance to put that to practice in several parts of my life this past month. One of the ways I sometimes try to sum up this attitude to others is to say we can get hit by a bus tomorrow implying that we need to appreciate some of the now. Sadly, a family friend died in a plane crash Friday night, a tragic reminder that life is a journey that can end at any moment. My grandmother used to tell me not to wish my life away. There was a famous country song entitled, Live like you’re dying. It all points to trying to learn to live in, appreciate and enjoy the present moment. Yes, it’s still important to have goals and plans for the future, but you should not let the possible future blind you to the joy in now. Can the pursuit of your goals make it more difficult to see the good that is happening now? How do you try to live and enjoy the moment?
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Michelle –
Like Cathy Maxwell and a number of authors, I beleive the urge to write shows you have talent. What you do with that talent to hone is entirely dependent on yourself. There are two types of talent which are get confused — literary talent (which is more prevalent) and storytelling talent. No person has the same combo of both.
Hooray that your WW journey continues.
And for a number of reasons, I believe it is very important to be present in the moment as well as having goals.
Thanks, Michelle! That’s interesting to think of literary talent and storytelling talent as two separate things – and the former as being more prevalent.
It’s taken me awhile to wrap my brain around the need to be “present in the moment” while still having goals, but balancing that seems helpful.
Excellent post. But I’m so sorry about your friend. What a tragedy. I once survived a horrific car crash (head-on collision) so I know your message well. That’s why I, too, often say ‘life is too short.’ It’s so important to enjoy each step of the way. Writers forget that too often. Thanks for the reminder.
Thanks, Sue-Ellen! I am glad that you have recovered from the awful car crash. What helps you “enjoy each step of the way”? It is too easy to forget that.
Michelle, What a wonderful reminder! I, too, have run into this issue recently after a troubling year and the death of a dear friend. I’m very goal oriented and it often blinds me to the journey and joys along the way. When I don’t reach said goal, the depression is instantaneous.
I’m currently trying to focus on smaller goals, achievable goals that can be mini-signposts along the journey. Hopefully that will help merge both my goal-oriented tendencies and need to open my eyes to the path I’m currenty walking.
Danielle, I’m very sorry about the passing of your friend. Best wishes on your recovery.
I hear you about being very goal-oriented and how it can blind you to the joys of the journey AND the crash if you don’t meet that goal. One book that helped me change my mind frame a bit on this was The Zen of Eating. It may speak to you as well.
Michelle, Sorry to hear of your friend’s passing. It is a reminder to live for today while planning for tomorrow.
I followed Michelle Styles’ link to this great site. I’ve added it to my favorites.
The culmination of my 5-year goal to be published comes up in Aug. I have only one MS out there right now but I have several completed in various stages of revision. I was probably a bit naive when I made that goal. I’ve learned so much since that innocent day! I know I will be disappointed in myself if I don’t make the goal, so this is a good reminder to enjoy the journey and all the friends I’ve met on this journey.
I had a weight loss goal, too. I did well for two years and lost 60 lbs. Then I hit menopause and was in a plateau for a long time. Then I was able to lose again slowly. Then I hurt my back. Not seriously but enough to curtail my exercise routine. Then my dad became ill and I’m working on getting him set up at home because he’s so unhappy at the rehab center. And now I have to re-lose 2/3 of those pounds. Frustrating. But now that Spring is (almost) here I’ll get back on track with walking.
Thanks, Christy. Good luck with your family responsibilities.
The thing with setting a goal to be published by such and such a date is that you are setting a goal in an area you can’t control ultimately. You don’t have the power/ability to get yourself published unless you self-publish. You do have the power/control/ability to do what you can do to make sure you improve your craft, write regularly, etc. It’s not good to beat yourself up about something you don’t control.
That is very impressive that you lost 60 pounds. You’ve proven to yourself you can do it. Best of luck on your continued weight journey!
First, Michelle, so sorry to hear about the death of your family friend.
I, too, am goal-oriented so sometimes I have to force myself to pause and enjoy the here and now and to remind my husband to do the same. This is something that I’ve tried to apply to my financial life too. Hubby and I are fairly frugal and don’t carry any debt but our mortgage. We try to make good financial decisions and to save for retirement. But, that said, I think it’s important to do fun things along the way, like take vacations or go to the movies, because any of us could die tomorrow. I started focusing on this more after the death of my mother-in-law. She retired early and was able to take some wonderful trips (Caribbean, Alaska, Hawaii) before being diagnosed with cancer and passing five months later. If she had continued to work toward a more typical retirement age, saving money, she wouldn’t have been able to go and do all those wonderful things.
Thanks, Trish. I do think you can be too focused on the future and planning for it that you miss the joys available to day. That sounds like you have found a really good balance for this in your financial life. I’m glad that your M-I-L was able to go on those great trips!
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